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tourkwell

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Anxious [22 Mar 2007|02:44am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Its so quiet, everything is entirely still. As if trapped in a snow globe, it almost feels as though gravity and time it self is suspended.



My whole day has been really off, its really weird. Theres a looming sense of danger, and I feel as though I am, everything is, entirely hollow.



Usually on a Wednesday night there would at least be people outside on smoker's island smoking, or people drunkenly stumbling back to thier dorm rooms, cars whirring by as they blast thier systems, But no, nothing, it just leaves the lonely wind whirring through the tree branches, and the three ominous sounds of impact that I had heard earlier in the night.



The hall, everything is completely silent. The obnoxious breeders next to me are totally still, and thier obsenities will not be heard this night.




It feels almost as though I cannot breath, like there is a heavy weight on my chest. My suitemate feels it too.



Something bad is going to happen.... I can sense it.

1 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[22 Jan 2007|07:23pm]
gold diggers are smart hookers
lets get serious for one second

[18 Jan 2007|02:10am]
[ mood | blah ]

Why is it that loneliness is an underlying theme in my life... no matter how spectacular I feel, as though it is my home base I always come back to this.

Why is it that everyone else but me has found a relationship, even a mutual infauation, or some form of an attraction, and I always just feel barren or empty.

And then the people that do get love, always seem as though they dont desereve it, even though it may sound like a horrible.... even crass thing to say. But in all honesty some people just dont even seem like they have the mental capacity to peel a banana, let alone sustain a successful relationship.

I honestly think that I was just someone who was destined to be alone. I mean lets look at the facts, I am 18 years old. I have never even had a boyfriend. I mean I know i am not exactly attractive, but it seems as though everyone else has found someone, even if its just for a week.

Whatever I am so over this scene... I guess i just have to slowly settle into the life of solitude

3 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[28 Oct 2006|08:05am]
[ mood | drunk ]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM FUCKING PISSED AT MY ROOMATE!!!!

He goes and takes a puctre of my mome and tursn it down!!! (For those of you who dont know, my mother passed, but its okay Ive come to peace iwth it. But seriosuly get sensi, if soemoen takes her beautiful picture and turns it down thent hat is jsut plain disrespe ctful. I CANNOT BELIEVE HIMM IM VUFKING MOVING OUT I FUCKING HATE HIMMMM..


So anywyas...., I was Dora The Whore-a (Dora The explorere, it was a 6 year old-ish costume for a girl.... loves it, the shirt was up to my nips, and i was wearing booty shorts. hahaha and i reeked havoc in henry fucking hall bitches) forf halloween this weekened. Ill put pics up later.

1 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

TERRIBLE WEEK [26 Oct 2006|01:52am]
[ mood | stressed ]

gahhh this week has been terrible.

got in a fight with my dad

Have been sick

Hate my roomate, and am moving to another dorm

Did terrible on the practical ballet technique exam

Dont understand the partnering that I have to do in ballet for the winter concert.

Rob Battle, WMU Dance Dept's Great work choreographer, who is a guest choreographer, is coming this weekend and interrupting my halloween celebration. And if i get cast then I have rehersal ALL weekend. Which is great if i do get chosen, but its going to be a hella amount of work. Lets hope for the best, and I prolly wont make it anyways.

Have an exam in psych on information I do not understand.

I was at dalton today from 5-11 rehersing

didnt get to eat because i missed carryout at the caf by one minute.

I am STARVING

And to top it alll off almost getting expelled from WMU, for something that i didnt even do.
Heres the story, My friend alyssa was home in Wisconsin, and an assignment was due for psychology class on tuesday. well heres the problem, she wouldnt be home until wednesday. So what she does is she Emails her answers to me, and tells me to circle them for her, and hand it in. So Im like, no sweat Ill just print it off and transfer her answers to paper and hand it in for her. So I do it all for her and hand it in. Later she gets an email from a Michael McDonald.... however this michael is a professor/or TA. The professor recieved the EMail too, and thought that they wer the answers to an exam. Then proceeds to tell us that we are going to be expelled, and reports to the board of student misconduct. So Alyssa tells me this and I am freaking out. Because WMU takes thier policy so strictly there was a distinct possiblity that we could be expelled. So at 9 am (missing my modern tech class) we went and met with Tina Mason Hall, our psyc teacher, and explained the entire predicament. She says the guy has no right in saying these things and has no jurisdiction whatsoever in saying these things. He also is probably unable to carryout his plans because, one he doesnt have the syllabus, two he doesnt have the SIGNED syllabus, three he doesnt have the homework, and four hes not the teacher. So after about an hour of that we went and waited in the student conduct building forever. After speaking with the head of the place he agrees that we will not be expelled.... however if found that i did cheat, i will fail the class. Now this is a problem because in our homework we are 1 question off. Which sucks because i didnt cheat, for once! So I dont know how that is going to play out.

This has been such a terrible week. I am thirsty for thursday, i need a fucking drink.

1 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[28 Sep 2006|07:09pm]
I disgust myself....
lets get serious for one second

Havent Updated in forever [19 Aug 2006|02:03am]
[ mood | ready ]

I look in the mirror, and I can barely recognize the reflection that stares back into my eyes. I cannot believe how much I have changed in these past few months. Anyone who knows me will agree. In the next year I will still go through a phase of metamorphases, and I like the person I am right now. However, I cannot wait to see what the future brings.

So in ten days I move to Western. Many people I have talked to are afraid of college, but as they cower, I embrace it with arms open wide. I need change. I cannot thrive here in Novi anymore, let alone the fact that I have been at this point since my sophomore year. I cannot wait to dance with people who have the same desire and drive as I do, it is going to be an amazing experience. I am extremely egar to start dancing at WMU.

I had fallen hard, and fast. I had to step back and do some self evaluations. But in the end I had made the right decision. I had also realized certain things about that person that were not so desireable, and there are going to be other guys, and I am so over it.

I am done at Piazza, usually people would think that this would be a sad experience. However, due to all of the stuff that had happened last year, I am estatic to finally move on. I dreaded going to dance during the last 3 or 4 months of my senior year. So my departure from there is bittersweet. The fact that they didnt go to my graduation party really didnt bother me all that much, I knew that they had family issues and were really busy. But the part that makes me really angry is that they had the time to send my father a crd, saying thank you for driving the truck to nationals, but didnt have the time or the consideration to send me a card. I dont even need the money, but the fact that they have the audacity to not even send me a card, to say good job, thank you, and congratulations. But they couldnt even do that. So whatever, I no longer belong there, or am wanted there.

I am stronger, and no I am not going to break out into that retarded Britney Spears song. Because she is white trash. I have become so much stronger though. I was already self sufficient, and now that I am %110 emotionally ready for college. I honestly cannot wait. I am going to miss some people, other people.... not so much.

I finally get to start my life, and I couldt be happier.

So this is goodbye, however not goodriddens. Even though I hated Novi's bubble, I am glad that I hade grown up here with the ideals that I have had and the proper manners that have been inforced in me. When I look at the kids that are from detroit, they dont act that way to be obnoxious, they act that way because they simply do not know any better. They were never taught how to act. And Im glad that I do.

Anyways, Its about time that I should be getting to bed. I have work tomorrow, 12-6 (maybe until close).

Goodnight.

1 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[09 Mar 2006|12:24am]
[ mood | ASIAN! ]

im so pumped. Can you say video ipod this weekend, and never bringing it to school. lol


lets just get this one thing straight. One of the greatest music videos ever is;

My love is like ... Wo, by Mya.

Seriously, watch it. Its hot, and in the middle she does this sweet tap thing. And you may watch it and be like well thats not that amazing, but from a dancers point of view, she texturizes all her sounds, and they are all crisp and seperated and clear. Sorry im ranting on, kind of avoiding my paper. Almost done tho. Bitchezzz.

2 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[07 Mar 2006|11:15pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I hate the winter. I want it to be sunny again. I want to be able to walk into dance in nothing less than a wife beater and a pair of shorts, and feel the warm gravel on my callouses. I want to roll down my windows and blast my music, without worrying about hypothermia. I want to dance and open the back door in the big studio, and watch the sunset. I want to sit in the sun and read a book, I want the sun to stay out until 8. Im just so sick of winter.




Im so tired. I have a competition next weekend, I cannot believe it. Its coming up so fast. Im so tired all the time. I kinda hate it. I mean it makes sense, every day I dance from 330-11 or so. It just makes sense. I should be doing homework right now. But fuck that. I detest school.

Wow Im being ridiculously negative, its what happens when Im tired.

6 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[04 Mar 2006|12:23am]
[ mood | like a virus ]

ever felt like a virus?

1 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[21 Feb 2006|12:47am]
<td align="center">Your walk is:
Full of Determination

QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>



Mike will have to write:








I will not be distracted by passing butterflies








'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com




Im so bored.
lets get serious for one second

[14 Feb 2006|10:55pm]
[ mood | fuck you dad ]

I fucking hate my dad sooooooooooooooo much hes such an asshole. God Seriously, way to ruin a good day. What i wouldnt give just to punch him in the face.

lets get serious for one second

[07 Feb 2006|11:30pm]
[ mood | confident ]

So i had my first ballet technique solo class today, and it went so well. I feel like Im getting a lot better, and that was just one class, Im super excited. I cannot wait to see how I improve. #@TGASGASD. Ive decided against doing my hwk tonight. so i will ttyl! peace and luv

Mike

lets get serious for one second

slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut [28 Jan 2006|12:06am]
[ mood | stressed ]

I cannot believe I just got home from dance, Im getting really tired. I didnt win Mr. Michigan, but oh well, DMM is all political anyways. And I guess everyone thought I should have. Oh well who cares, Ill go back and try again next year. But the funny thing is, I wasnt even in it to win, I just wanted some friends, and I made a ton of them so its good. And, brace yourselves, I actually enjoyed Marilynn's class today. I know, the whole world is coming to an end. Well I must be going, I am dead tired, and have to be up tomarrow at 6. eek. Oh well, goodnight.

Mike

6 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

life sucks, i hate it [27 Jan 2006|11:50pm]
[ mood | damn it all to hell ]

I am so sick of my life, my self, my body, my world, and everything that I would jump right out of my skin if i could.

1 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[22 Jan 2006|01:57am]
[ mood | determined ]

Mr. Michigan is next weekend. Im working my ass of on my solo, and if im on the computer TELL ME TO GET UP TO THE STUDIOOOOO! because I need to work on it, I totally suck. But n e ways, Im tired and my knee is killing me, and I have solo practice tomarrow. So im going to bed. Goodnight.


Mike

4 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[14 Jan 2006|01:06am]
i saw tristan and isobale or whatever her name is. and it was pretty good.
2 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

*whew* [12 Jan 2006|04:10pm]
[ mood | excited ]

(Im going to be kelli right now)

Western Michigan University : Check


2 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[08 Jan 2006|11:02pm]
new years resolutions (never got around to making them into an entry)

****GET BACK IN SHAPE AND LOSE THE FAT****
cut back on drinking
Start working out more
work more on dance
get in shape
eat better
get in shape
read more
and
get in shape
5 bitch(es) who have gotten serious |lets get serious for one second

[07 Jan 2006|11:23pm]
[ mood | happy ]

wow! I made the 10,000 mark on myspace, i thought i would share that with you all



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lets get serious for one second

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